slow

this blogger site is beautiful to behold, but i must tell you that it is slow as mo. lass. us.

i am afraid that i might have to give this one an early retirement and direct you to my xanga site, since i do get charged by the minute to hop on the world wide web. so long. so long. front foot leads the back one. so long, and i won't be back soon.

automated answer

i have this problem. everytime i call a number with an automated answering system ("to reach such-and-such, please press 1"), my brain turns off my ears. i think about other things up until the voice reaches like 3 or so, and then i realize i need to finish listening to the rest of the entire menu and listen to it all from the beginning again. if the menu is long, i'll stop listening again, and always miss the menu choice that i need. always. thank goodness they're usually toll free.

today i called Sallie Mae, because i wanted to know what happens to my loans when i die. do they go to heaven with me? morbidly inquiring minds want to know! all i wanted to do was ask a simple question, but i had to wade through TWO automated menus and then a wait time. i talked to someone in India, i think. he was rather nice.

so, the answer: after a phone call to Sallie, an application for a death claim via mail, and furnishing of a death certificate, a deceased person's educational loans will be forgiven. the processing could take 60 days or so, but they will be gone. yay!

it's a load off of my back. not that i plan on dying right now, but it's nice to know that i won't be leaving behind any financial burdens for my family if i do go to chill with God earlier than expected.

lovelove,
youngin

my parents

they ate all my marshmallows. they're marshmallow monsters.

toilets awry

to my great dismay, the handle that flushes my toilet completely fell off the other day. it made me wonder how long those things last, and in turn, how old that thing must have been. is it older than i am?? it was plastic, but it had worn totally through and just slid right off into the tank. it has gone to handle heaven, never to flush again.

anyhow, after a couple of days of flushing via reaching into the tank and pulling up the chain manually, i got a chance to buy a new handle. i took out all the remnants of the old one and installed the new one, all by myself! i felt like i could fix anything in that moment of success. like i should be wearing overalls, standing tall with my thumbs hooked proudly on my bib.

lovelove,
your local handylady

"eet ees not a tumah"

Dr. Neurosurgeon went over mom's MRI scan and the previously-existing, tiny tumor that we had been watching (and had immediately blamed for the impaired vision) has not grown in the past two years. so we don't think we need brain surgery, yay! *big sigh of relief*

but now, on to the next problem: how can we explain (and treat) the blurry tunnel vision? we will have to wait and see. *shrug* i just thought i'd update this in the very slim chance someone read the last entry and began to get worried.

rollercoaster riding

for some reason, this blog sucks the sense of humor out of my writing. *slurp* so i might as well be serious on it.

i had all sorts of scenarios of various life crises running through my head on my commute home from work today. i guess it started with the talk of my mom's brain tumor. seems that her optic chiasm is just a breeding ground for quickly-growing non-cancerous meningiomas. she's had two surgeries already, one in 1997 and one in 2004. both times, she survived and recovered, and her sight was almost completely restored, ptl.

but there isn't a lot of confidence this time... she's older... they've opened her skull up twice already... she's lost a larger chunk of her field of vision this time in a shorter span of time. there are a lot of things going against her case.

i also just got news that i might be able to finally leave for Kenya mid-September. total elation. i want to go so badly that i can feel it in my bones. i'm ready.

so what now? what is my role? am i to stay here even longer? am i to help run her business, or do they just close down? will she end up going blind? will she recover? will i ever get to go, or will i just stay here and grow old in Maryland? will i ever be able to date like a normal person? (relationships are always on my mind.) what is God calling me to do right now?

life is full of ups and downs. this heart can barely handle it... actually, at this point, just throw in a couple more huge life changes. it couldn't make too much of a difference. there is no spoon.

lovelove,
me

she made me do it

if you've known me long enough, you've seen my bad side. it's the side that's a total itch, with a capital "B". through the years, and striving to be more like Jesus, i've practiced keeping that side of myself at bay. but some people. some people can bring her out. *shaking head*

it's definitely a pet peeve of mine when strangers are rude to me right off the bat. as if they feel entitled to treat everyone around them with disrespect and sassy attitude. bah. i just don't like it. working in the wig business, i tend to see many more of these sorts of people than my fair share. up until today, by the love of God, i've been able to keep it together and still speak to such folks with a gentle, polite calmness. but today, i lost it. i won't tell you what she was like, but somehow, this customer conjured up this yucky me in just a few moments. i'd almost forgotten that this steely, logical, fierce, i-don't-care-about-your-feelings, i-will-tear-you-down-and-win-this-argument-and-dance-on-your-foolish-face helen existed. this side of me that should be feared. ROAR.

the customer left in a huff after talking to this helen. i hope she doesn't sue us or something. this is what you call a bad day at work, i think. i need to pray just to make it today.

lovelove,
a girl in need of grace

at work

at work
Originally uploaded by takadoodledoo.

i started helping my mom out at her wig store. it certainly is a bit of a change from HIV work to selling wigs. it's been very much the pains of retail mixed with beauty salon counseling, mixed with custodial responsibilities, mixed with jeweler skills, mixed with hair styling, mixed with management and business roles, mixed with peacemaking refereeing.

it's been a surprisingly fun time. i'm challenged to grow in certain areas of my life. i've even been able to talk about the goodness of God on a few occasions, and that's been really awesome. plus, i got to get some short blond hair, which i'm loving.

i just have to trust that God'll provide my mother with someone to replace me by the end of the summer.

lovelove,
surfer chick

point and laugh

all the polishing that people have done through the years has really made a difference!

vince is his name

i took a peter pan bus up to NYC this weekend. it's a pretty cheap and reliable way to travel between DC and NY. a man sat down next to me on the bus (even though there were plenty of empty seats all around), and we didn't talk at all for the first 3.5 hours of the trip. he actually only broke the silence after i made a phone call to my momma. he asked me if i was Korean--he said his momma was too.

we talked for the entire last part of the ride. it was enough time to get to know him enough to say that:

1. he doesn't really love his girlfriend. he likes the idea of her, that she's pretty, that she's low maintenance, and that she lives in NYC.
2. he honestly believes that guys need to treat their girls like sh*t if he wants to keep her (if she's good looking).
3. he thinks that if a girl lives in the DC area and can't get a date, she must be really ugly.
4. he knows that if a girl is looking for a man with a higher education who likes to travel, she only has dollar signs in her eyes.
   
5. he would live in san francisco if he could (though he doesn't really have anything holding him back--see #1).
   
6. he would never date a fat and/or ugly girl.
   

almost our whole conversation was about dating. it was my fault for asking how he met his girlfriend--i was curious, since long distance dating usually has a story behind it. i just didn't realize that the conversation would end with me losing even more faith in men. thankfully, i remained slightly amused at how many times he managed to put his foot in his mouth and not even know that he did.

lovelove,
a-highly-educated-traveler-living-in-the-DC-area-who-is-unable-to-get-a-date

my wishlist

many people have asked if i need anything, so i've made a list of items that i would really love to purchase before i leave. while it might seem that none of them are exceedingly imperative, since i will be out of the States for the entire three years, i would really enjoy having these things. however, if i purchase them all now, i will probably be in debt for a long long time.

blogspot makes it easy to leave comments, so if you want to buy any of these things for me, please comment so others know i'm covered! :O)

Items:

• printer
• external hard drive
  
• sneakers
• ipod
  
• small speakers for my laptop
  
• apron
• glasses
• tent (for two)
  
• games (travel size, maybe scrabble)
• a puzzle
• short wave radio (i totally have no ideas on what to buy)
  
• 2-way radio
• frisbee
• watch
• stationary
  

DVDs:

• When Harry Met Sally
• Princess Bride
• 50 First Dates
• Scrubs (any season)
• The Incredibles
• That 70s Show (any season)

sweet coldness, for the love of kimchee!

our refrigerator is broken. you can smell the fermenting kimchee without even opening the door. i wondered why the fridge was smelling rather... foodie last night, but i blamed it on the leftovers and let it be. but i took out said leftovers to feed the every-growing belly today, and my first bite tasted... a little sour. being ever-so-clever, i lick-checked each food item. yes, all very sour. why i didn't just rely on smell, who knows. i'm gross, whatever.

i opened the fridge--no cold air! egad, all this food must be thrown away. the yogurt, the eggs, the... OH NO, the ice cream!! not the ice cream!! *sigh* the freezer is not freezing--the garlic bread, the popsicles, the pizza--it is all gone. i was too sad to clean it all out alone, so i'm waiting for my mom to come home so we can do it together. we must do the food justice and provide a proper burial/disposal ceremony.

lovelove,
shopper

cramerton, NC

i think that i'm in cramerton, NC. google maps said it would take more than 8 hours, but i made it in about 6.5. yes, i break the law--i speed a little bit. my driving skills might leave you wanting. so what.

because i drove down here alone, i spent the entire time listening to music very loudly. it was a good time to think and pray. and get a suh-lamming tan. on my left forearm.



after all this lonely introspection, i've come to a conclusion. under stress, or even under normal everyday conditions, i can be astoundingly selfish. but somehow, God shows me such grace and everlasting love. how can it be?

lovelove,
tenacious T

novocaine

i love my dentist, but as i walked through the door to his office today, i whispered under my breath that i hated him! i could hardly believe that actually came out of my mouth. i guess it's a true love-hate relationship.

the whisper of hatred was a result of the sick dread of knowing that i was walking in there to get two cavities filled today. post-procedure, he told me that he actually did three for the price of two for me, knowing that i was going to be away from him for the next three years and knowing that i was already all numbed up. see, the love? he takes care of me.

plus, he runs marathons, which is, you know, super-duper cool. he's got tons of those paper marathon ID numbers nearly covering one entire wall of his private office where he discusses all the discounts he gives me. the love.

i also love that he doesn't have a dental hygenist. no offense to all of you dental hygenists out there, but i think there's something special about my dentist personally handling all the details and knowing everything about my teeth from checkup to final rinse. he also has a fantastic memory about all the details of my family (we all go to him) and makes me feel as though he really cares for all of us.

PLUS, he is generous with the novocaine (side note, i wonder how similar novocaine is to cocaine). i've had him pull two of my wisdom teeth and fill a few cavities, and i've never felt too uncomfortable... though... i still can't really feel my teeth and it's been almost 12 hours. should i be concerned?

lovelove,
the Augustine Paik DDS fanclub president

a quick fortune

from a fortune cookie from mama goo's chinese restaurant in NYC:

 

tourism

i hadn't been to see the cherry blossoms in years, and i won't be able to see them again in years, so i thought i'd make a trip today. too bad that most everyone i know is working during normal daytime hours. so i went alone. also too bad that the rains and winds have really torn off all the delicate cherry blossoms and thrown them in the tidal basin. here i am posing in front of the only branch that held on to those petals tight. it was a prime photo opportunity for many. i had to really elbow my way through the other tourists to get this shot.

here's a nice one of the jefferson memorial. note the paddleboat in front. i don't know why, but the springling of the paddleboats all over the water was really lovely to me.

these were photos from inside the jefferson memorial. i liked the ceiling, the quotes on the walls, and how jefferson was like SO tall.


lovelove,

the single among many

filing taxes

i'm so sure that many of you have already dutifully filed your taxes and are happily spending your tax returns. but here i am, in the thick of things. the good news is that i've already finished my federal stuff, woooohoooo! but now i'm on my state and local taxes... and totally regretting the fact that i worked in washington dc last year, seeing as how i reside in maryland. stupid maryland. or stupid dc, i can't decide.

i started filling out my MD form, and found out that the tax withheld was actually DC state tax withheld. so thus, i need to fill out a MD tax credit form. that form tells me i need to fill out another form, basically filing for DC state tax returns. what the hamstring is going on. i feel like i've followed this endless trail of breadcrumbs and i'm lost. does anyone actually know what things like "fiduciary income" and "aquaculture oyster floats" are?

and like the tenacious nerd that i am, i feel as though i just can't get to bed unless i tackle this monster and triumph with some returns. once you pop, you can't stop.

this entry was just my pit stop on the way to tax heaven.

lovelove,
taxilla

allergic to it

if someone says they're allergic to something, it immediately gives them an excuse not to eat/pet/smell/whatever it, right? i've thought for a long time that i was allergic to grass because anytime we played something outside in gym class, i would get all red, splotchy and itchy on my legs. i didn't really complain, though, because i wanted so badly to fit in during those days of P.E.

as i've grown older, i've begun to suspect that it's not grass that i'm allergic to at all. i think actually, it might be the EXERCISE. any physical exertion, and my legs turn all red, splotchy and itchy. now, i know there are many medical people out there that might have an answer and remedy for me. but really, i'm ALLERGIC to it, and who needs to exercise anyway? *guilty pause*

so today, i actually did go walking/running. it had been SO long since i'd seen those red, itchy splotches--so long that i was sort of happy to see them again. hello, old friends. plus, it was just a deliciously gorgeous day. thank you God for today.

incidentally, i was out running a few errands today in the middle of the day. and i noticed something. there are a LOT of people doing things in the middle of the day. doesn't anyone go to work? i guess i just live near a lot of independently weathly people who don't need jobs... or people who don't have jobs and are independently poor. :O]

lovelove,
fair weather walker

what day is it... where am i?

i flew into washington national airport from LA today on a red eye. i had left my car at the metro station near my house, so i hopped on the metro after collecting my belongings. it was pretty convenient, but after spending the whole night on a plane and not having eaten anything, i got a little motion sick on the way home. at least, i think/hope it was motion sickness and not some other weird viral thing. i started to sweat, feel nauseous, cough/choke. it was rather frightening, because i thought i really might gag and throw up the grapefruit juice that i had on the plane. ew.

somehow or another, i made it home, with gastric contents in tact. and though i slept in the plane, i still slipped into my lovely bed and slept a glorious 7 hours.

now that i've eaten, unpacked and started laundry, i feel as though it may be time for bed again.

down with xanga

xanga has made my blog decision for me. apparently, my xanga site has been "shut down for violation of Xanga's eligibility requirements." i can't find "eligibility requirements" outlined anywhere on their site, so i'm still sort of confused about what made them kick me off. did i violate their terms of use? i didn't post anything that was threatening, abusive, objectionable, illegal, or trademarked... i didn't hurt children... i am really who i say i am... i didn't put any viruses in there... and i didn't collect and store people's personal information... at least, i don't think i did any of those things. heck, i'm not computerly advanced enough to even attempt many of them. bah.

it's the end of a three and a half year era. i was a good citizen, a devoted blogger. and now, for some mysterious reason, all my thoughts are gone. gone gone gone. i am rather sad about it. let's have a moment of silence.

lovelove,
smelen

helen and charles

Originally uploaded by takadoodledoo.

2 of the 4 posts so far on this site have been about cows. i'm usually mathematically ridiculous, but that looks to me like approximately one half of my posts are about a bovine topic.

i promise, i think about non-cow items more than half of my waking hours.

i've been trying out the photo posting tools available for blogspot, today's test is from flickr.com. the photo de jour is me on the charles river. it was a rather dreary day, but i was having a good time with a dear old friend. it's nice when a friend can fill a dark day with laughter.

a few other thoughts on my boston trip can be found here.

i could not break free

i was walking with a friend the other day. we were having a shallow conversation about something or other, and she said "haha!! we should start a 'heard in boston' with our quotes!"

confusion ensues as i think of what she could mean by 'herd in boston.' is she suggesting that we start to moo right now? that would be fun... though i'm not sure that's what she meant. "huh?" i respond.

"you know, like 'heard in new york," she clarifies.

"herd in new york?" should we try to get a large pack of pedestrians together to walk, as if in a herd of cattle? still confused. that would mean so much work, and why would she suggest that all of the sudden??

heavens. i still don't get her.

"like the website that wanx was reading!! people saying crazy things, you know??"

"HAHAHAHA!!! i got the idea of herds in my mind, and i could not break free!!!"

lovelove,
cow brained

mid-afternoon snack

low-fat, high in vitamins and nutrients.

butts

i know, i know, i'm super-duper childish, but this photo always seems to make me smile. three fluffy cow butts in a row, all different colors--it appeals to so many of the senses. :O)

ai, this is what happens when helen spends entirely too much time alone in her room.... i need something else to publish on the internet for the world to see. :O)

to switch or not to switch...

that is the question. see, blogger seems a lot more sophistocated and grownup than xanga... but at the same time, i seem to keep getting lost in here. let's keep this and try to compare to xanga as we go... and see which one i'll be more committed to in years to come.